Only I know it's only a dream. I know we will never be friends again. I know you will never be there for me again and it hurts. It hurts that I let you down and I let myself down.
It hurts knowing that I messed up a good friendship. But why? Part of me wants to believe you were secretly looking for a way out. Part of me wants to believe you wanted an excuse to say goodbye. Part of me wants to believe that no matter what I would have said, it still would have been wrong.
But still part of me wonders.... Part of me wonders what you really meant. Part of me wonders what you really wanted to say. What didn't you tell me? What couldn't you say?
It's been weeks. I know I shouldn't still be thinking about this. Why am I then? What keeps me coming back to this? Honestly, I don't know if it even really matters anymore. It's not like you will ever speak to me again. You have probably moved on with your life.
So why then can't I move on with mine?
