Is it worth it?

Some days I wonder if it's really worth it?  No I don't mean life in general.... I mean love.  I see so many people struggling with it.  Relationships that look so great that just end up failing/falling apart.


Two really wonderful people that I love dearly recently ended their relationship.  He isn't doing so well with it.  She thought things were ok (obviously they aren't).... I feel so bad for both of them because it looks as if they can't even be friends anymore.  They are such awesome people and I love both of them dearly.  It kinda makes me wonder though what happens when a relationship ends? 

1) the Mutual friends
 - Do the mutual friends of these people have to choose sides? 
I met both of them while they were still together.  I became friends with her first but am now friends with both of them.  I am close to both of them.  I know if I need anything, I can call on either of them (as long as it's not both, that would be a little awkward) if I need anything. 
- How do you comfort these people? 
I listened to both of them.  Both sides of the same story.  Honestly, no one was totally in the wrong and no one was totally in the right (at least not in my opinion).  I still think they are both still wrong and right.  Am I going to tell them this? Yes and no.  I feel they both need friends who support them and will be there for them.  The problem is that they are both wonderful people that just didn't fit together. 

2) What do you do with the stuff?

Thankfully they both still had most of their own stuff and did not acquire that much while together.  How do the couples who have been together for long periods of time decide how to divvy up their things?  That would kill me.... I would probably try and give them back presents too.  (Heck, I have tried to give gifts back to exes before.  This usually starts a whole new fight...)
An old friend of mine once told me "if you can't decide who should get it, sell it and split the money." Hmmmm, sounds like a plan except some things you really can't put a price on and other things are kinda illegal to sell...

3) Kids, pets, homes....
I feel so bad for the couples who split and they have children together.  Thankfully my friends hadn't been together long enough so they didn't have children.  They did however combine their pets all into her home. 
He ended up having to move out and take his pets.  I don't know if his animals and her animals created any real "bonds" but if they did I can tell you now "seperation anxiety" is a pain in the arse.... When I lived with my brother we had their 2 dogs and my cat.  When one dog passed away it was hard on us but it was really hard on the animals.  Thankfully they had each other to look to for support but when I moved out and took the cat my sister-in-law told me the dog would mope.  I know Toby (my cat) was miserable because he didn't have the dog to play with. 

It's hard to seperate anything but when you have living beings.  My friend had to go through a NASTY custody battle with a guy she wasn't even with over their son.  It was hard on everyone, even the child who had to learn who his dad was and only sees him so often.  (sometimes this isn't necesarily a bad thing....)

I don't even want to think how hard it has been on my friends who just recently split.  He has to now move all of his stuff out of her place.  I know everyone has offered to help him move.  Again, sometimes things get ugly though.... Me? I just kinda sit back, say if anyone wants to talk, I have two ears and try and let them settle things with as little violence as possible....

I know there are so many more parts to relationships but I still have to ask myself if it's really worth it sometimes. I mean, I know I am a TERRIBLE judge of a good person to date. Heck, I suck at picking friends half the time.... I always gravitate towards relationships that are so bad for me.... The last few guys I dated were all abusive (mentally and emotionally). I once dated a guy who liked to start arguments, and occasionally he shoved me (lightly) because he got off on it.... He liked fighting. Guess what? I don't! No one likes to see people fight. I will tell you this now: If you push me, I will push you back!!! I can now honestly, comfortably say this.

The positive side though has to be brought up as well.  Take my brother and sister-in-law.  I love them dearly.  I NEVER thought my brother would be able to find someone who could put up with his shit... Guess what?  My sister-in-law not only puts up with his shit, she gives it back to him. That and my neice and nephew.  Just them smiling makes me happy.   Somedays just seeing them makes me think it may be worth it.... Do I think I feel the same tomorrow? Dunno.  I honestly don't care.  I don't know if I will ever find someone but I DO know sometimes even the littlest things make it worth it....