So there is 1 song that keeps going through my head. It's called "Blame God Instead" and it's by a very talented artist named Alex Bach. I have posted the lyrics below. If you can, you should check out the song. It is really awesome...
More or less the song is about a couple who split. Actually, he leaves her without telling her anything. I don't know if he just up and disappears or what but basically he leaves her without a reason. Everything seemed great and he just left.
This hits WAY too close to home for me right now. I know he was pissed. I know I over-reacted but I still don't really know what happened between us and part of it is killing me.
I still look at my phone, thinking maybe he will text me. I still pray that maybe he will come knock on my door and say that he wants to figure things out. The truth is that I know things don't work that way in real life. At least not in mine. No one comes back and says they are sorry. No one shows up, knocking on my door asking if we can try and work things out. For me it doesn't happen.
The thing is though that I miss him everyday. I miss our stupid conversations about nothing. I miss him talking about his parents and his fustrations at his job. I miss him asking about Toby. I miss curling up to watch a movie with him and him trying to startle me at stupid times. I miss the 10 or more emails everyday that he would send because he got so many and wanted to share.
I miss him. I miss our friendship.... and what hurts the most is that I know we will never have it back.
"Blame God Instead" by Alex Bach
I do a double double take a thousand times a day No matter where I go I always think I just saw your face And everytime I realize I'm wrong A part of me still cannot believe you're gone
With everybody in my life, I'm obligated to explain Who I am, what I said, what I meant, and why I feel this way But you knew more about me than I knew myself I'll never find the same in anyone else
When you left me, you never even said goodbye Since you left me, all I can do is wonder why I'd feel so much better off with you dead Then I'd still believe in you and I'd blame God instead
Remember how the days and nights started to feel the same Time had a way of stopping when I cried out your name But the voice I just heard made my blood run cold In the blink of an eye your heart just turned to stone
When you left me, you never even said goodbye Since you left me, all I can do is wonder why I'd feel so much better off with you dead Then I'd still believe in you and I'd blame God instead
When you left all my friends told me that I should move on That I deserve better than you Sometimes I wish you'd died then I could grieve in peace And everyone would understand the pain I'm going through
When you left me, you never even said goodbye Since you left me, all I can do is wonder why
(No, no, no, no, no)
When you left me, you never even said goodbye Since you left me, all I can do is wonder why I'd feel so much better off with you dead Then I'd still believe in you and I'd blame God, damnit! When you left me, you never even said goodbye Since you left me, all I can do is wonder why I'd feel so much better off with you dead Then I'd still believe in you and I'd blame God instead
